(This column originally ran in The Courier on Sunday, February 14, 2010.)
I woke up this morning to find that everyone hates Valentine’s Day.
This is not entirely true. I’ve known for some time that an anti-Valentine’s-Day movement exists, but this year it has been personified by nearly all of my close friends who, whenever the upcoming holiday is mentioned, yell — loudly and unreservedly — about how much it sucks.
To hear them tell it, the day really does suck. It’s just a money-making device created by greeting card companies, they whine. They hate the cheesiness of those cards, and the lovey-dovey sentiment that accompanies them. They hate the overabundance of the color red. They despise the responsibility of procuring appropriate gifts for significant others. Some are just bitter because they no longer have significant others — winter is break-up season, after all — but really, it’s the cool-college-kid thing to do to be a V-Day hater. And these days, everyone wants to be cool.
I’m a glass-half-full Pollyanna in most respects, and on this particular issue my stance is no different. Because while all the other 20-somethings I know are filled with annoyance at the impending explosion of confetti hearts that is Valentine’s Day, I’m kind of looking forward to it.
I mean, how can you hate a holiday celebrating love? It’s the emotion behind all the best holidays, anyway. Those universal fuzzy happy feelings are at the root of my unending affection for Christmas, and I get so excited for the 4th of July because it’s the one time of year I can not-so-ironically proclaim my love for our amazing (if flawed) country. Thanksgiving is all about loving what we have; Memorial Day is meant to lovingly remember those we’ve lost. Another day dedicated to celebrating the best part of being alive seems like an idea everyone should get behind.
When you don’t have anyone specific to shower with affection, a romance-drenched holiday like Valentine’s Day can be frustrating. But this year I’m going to look at the day as less of an insult to my perpetual single status and more as an opportunity to be happy for the relationships I do have. And if any of my friends choose to complain, I’ll shove a heart-shaped box of chocolates in their mouths and tell them to save the hate for another day. Love, love, love! The Beatles seemed to think it’s all we need and, frankly, I agree.
You know what I hate? Haters! Even though the tech world saw today’s announcement of the new Apple iPad coming from weeks (years?) away, people still had to rain on my parade with their cynicism. Twitter was inundated with lady-problem jokes and my classmates were all, “Honey, they blew up my iPhone!” and I felt the way I did in junior high when I didn’t want to make fun of the new kid in class because I hadn’t gotten to know him yet.
What does all this mean? That I feel like I have to defend my interest in this product. So, HATERS, here’s why I want an iPad (ugh, that name): I currently own a Blackberry Tour, an iPod classic, and a 15″ Macbook Pro. I dislike taking my laptop with me when I travel because it’s so bulky, but my Blackberry simply doesn’t give me the kind of Internet access I require while I’m on the road. I don’t want a netbook because I already have a laptop (and because I despise PCs). What can give me access to my [expansive] media library, the Internet, and Pages, without infringing on the capabilities of my phone or laptop? The iPad. So mock me or this product all you want but I will be all over it as soon as humanly possible. And then you’ll be jealous.
It doesn’t matter, anyway, because over at Slate, technology columnist Farhad Manjoo has officially declared his love for the device, and his opinion is really the only one that counts in my mind.
*I can’t believe that name made it past the pitch stage. Seriously. Were there no women involved in the production of this thing? Besides the connection to sanitary products, people who say it aloud sound like that have a bad Boston accent. Blah.
I had a big ‘ole Golden Globes recap typed up and ready to post, but then I remembered that I actually hate the Golden Globes. This is for a few reasons: 1) I find it hard to care about the opinion of a voting body who thinks they have the right to decree the best in both television and film, two vastly different mediums, 2) it doesn’t make any sense to nominate films before they’ve even been released in theatres, or to nominate television shows midway through the standard season, and 3) I hate the emphasis on this award as a predictor for the Oscars.
So instead of further validating the Globes’ existence with my extended personal commentary*, I would rather just note that I am, and have always been, absolutely fascinated by the idea of hundreds of celebrities from every tier of stardom getting drunk and bonding at those circular tables. Can you even imagine?
*Abbreviated personal commentary: The best parts were Meryl “T-Bone” Streep’s lovely acceptance speech after her win for Best Actress in Julie & Julia and Ricky Gervais’ amazing one-line takedown of Mel Gibson (”Honestly, I like a drink as much as the next man…unless the next man is Mel Gibson”). I was disappointed in the total lack of love for Inglourious Basterds and while I appreciate James Cameron’s massive achievements, I still think he’s a tool.
Starred films were seen in theatres; double-starred films were seen in theatres while I was abroad in Australia.
FIVE STARS:
My new favorites. Highly recommended. The Fall (2006) The Band’s Visit (Bikur Ha-Tizmoret) (2007) Up (2009)* Star Trek (2009)** Doubt (2008) Mary and Max (2009) The Princess and the Frog (2009)*
FOUR STARS:
Liked these a lot. Recommended. Slumdog Millionaire (2008)* Amadeus (1984) Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008) Thank You For Smoking (2005) The Hangover (2009)* Frost/Nixon (2008) Ed Wood (1994) Fargo (1996) Where the Wild Things Are (2009)* Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang (2005) 9 (2009)* A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004) The Class (Entre les murs) (2008) Bolt (2008) Wordplay (2006) Wag the Dog (1997) Away We Go (2009)* Network (1976)
THREE STARS:
Didn’t love ‘em, didn’t hate ‘em. Ghost World (2001) Persepolis (2007) Son of Rambow (2007) The Savages (2007) Watchmen (2009)** The Patriot (2000) The Green Mile (1999) Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa (2008) Some Like It Hot (1959) W. (2008) Baby Mama (2008) Into the Wild (2007) Rachel Getting Married (2008) There Will Be Blood (2007) Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)* I Love You, Man (2009) The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 (2008) Harvey (1950) North By Northwest (1959) In America (2002) That Thing You Do! (199 The Hudsucker Proxy (1994) The Virgin Suicides (1999) Precious (2009) Dead Poets Society (1988) The Brothers Bloom (2008)
TWO STARS:
Definitely not a fan. Not recommended. The Proposal (2009)** The Terminal (2004) Fame (2009)*
FIVE STARS: My new favorites. Highly recommended. “The Great Gatsby” by F. Scott Fitzgerald
One of my goals this year was to read the literary classics I’d been ignoring, among them this tale of one man’s love of excess and his desire for the one thing he can’t have. I was blown away by Fitzgerald’s articulate descriptive passages and his ability to pack so much emotional punch in so short a novel. I loved the book when I was reading it, but what’s surprised me is how often I think about its message almost a year later.
“The Hunger Games” by Suzanne Collins
From Publishers Weekly: “In a post-apocalyptic world, a replacement for the United States demands a tribute from each of its territories: two children to be used as gladiators in a televised fight to the death.” I picked up this YA novel after reading a trusted friend’s recommendation, and damn, I’m glad I did. The plot is inventive and absolutely gripping from start to finish, and while I had my minor qualms, the lead female in particular is a total breath of fresh air. Recommended even if you haven’t read anything in the young adult genre for years. It’s that good.
“The Catcher in the Rye” by J.D. Salinger
An extremely cynical 16 year-old narrates the days following his expulsion from prep school. Not sure what to say other than that this is another classic that lived up to my enormous expectations. Actually, I wish I would’ve read this when I was younger, because I know I would have loved it.
“Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto” by Chuck Klosterman
A series of essays by a Spin writer deconstructing everything from Saved by the Bell to Billy Joel. Essentially the intelligent, snarky ramblings of a Gen-X hipster geek. Klosterman is the kind of writer I want to be, and while the essays included here don’t mesh together as quite a cohesive whole as I think he intended, it’s a thought-provoking analysis of the effect of pop culture on our society. Plus, it’s hilarious.
“Harry Potter and the Sorceror’s Stone” by J.K. Rowling
Okay, okay, so this is about the twelfth time I’ve re-read this book since 1998, but it kind of goes without saying that if you haven’t read this series, you probably should.
FOUR STARS: Liked these ones a lot. Recommended.
“The Perks of Being a Wallflower” by Steven Chbosky
“The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society” by Mary Ann Shaffer & Anne Burrows
“Notes From No-Man’s Land” by Eula Biss
“Catching Fire” by Suzanne Collins
“To Kill A Mockingbird” by Harper Lee
“Lackadaisy” by Tracy Butler
THREE STARS: Didn’t love ‘em, didn’t hate ‘em.
“Still Life With Oysters and Lemon” by Mark Doty
“Thank You For Smoking” by Christopher Buckley
“The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie” by Alan Bradley
“Runaways” [Vols. 1 & 2] by Brian K. Vaughn
“Clumsy” by Jeffrey Brown
“Shopgirl” by Steve Martin
“Wishful Drinking” by Carrie Fisher
“Blankets” by Craig Thompson
TWO STARS: Definitely not a fan. Not recommended.
None!
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August is traditionally a really shit month for movies. It’s a filler month, a time for taking a breather between epic summer blockbusters and the intense Oscar bait studios pimp out in the fall. For every Tropic Thunder or Judd Apatow movie released during those 31 days, there are twelve more poorly-conceived, obviously crappy titles sent to theatres to die, like Swing Vote, or The Dukes of Hazzard, or Gigli. Last year New York Magazine put together a pretty thorough analysis of why August sucks so hard, but suffice it to say I’m staying far away from theatres until September.
Here’s what August is good for: Browsing through trailers for upcoming releases and making notes. The past few weeks have been a buzz-worthy trailer goldmine. My thoughts are below - let me know what you think in the comments!
FANTASTIC MR. FOX (November 13) directed by Wes Anderson
starring George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Bill Murray, Jason Schwartzman, Owen Wilson
At first I was a little baffled that Wes Anderson chose an animated adaptation of a Roald Dahl children’s book as his next project, but this looks like it’s going to fit nicely in his quirky, Futura-tinged body of work. The stop-motion/CGI animation appears to be slightly less fluid than, say, Coraline, but I like the feel. And the voice cast is pretty stellar, though they sound a bit flat in this trailer. Basically, this one could go either way, but I’m rooting for it.
After a disastrous encounter with Wordpress last month, I lost all the content on ohonestly.org from its inception in June 2008 to December, including all my book reviews, all your comments, and my customized layouts. I was, understandably, pissed off.
But it gave me a chance to re-do aspects of the blog that weren’t working. What you see before you is the beginning of the new ohonestly.org, which will feature a blog specifically for media reviews/commentary and a second blog to document my adventures studying abroad.
Bear with me as I tweak the site - expect colors and font sizes and page locations to change - but please subscribe to my RSS feed and let me know you think!
FIVE STARS: My new favorites. Highly recommended. “Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close” by Jonathan Safran Foer
A quirky, intelligent nine year-old boy searches for the meaning of a mysterious key left by his father, who was killed on 9/11. Funny and heartbreaking, and very dinstinctly Foer-ian in its style, and the plot and characters have a shade of realism that I thought was lacking in his first novel, “Everything Is Illuminated’. I highlighted dozens of sections of absolutely perfect observations and ideas. Worth a few re-reads.
“The Cheese Monkeys: A Novel in Two Semesters” by Chip Kidd
Stuck at state school in the 1950’s, a freshman decides to major in art, thinking it will be an easy ride through to graduation - until he meets his classmates and his borderline-insane graphics professor. As one of the most well-known graphic designers today, and a personal hero of mine, it’s kind of awesome to see Mr. Kidd employ his skills with art in the written word. Annoying twist ending aside, this is a hilarious page-turner, featuring two (maybe three) of the more fascinating characters created this decade. (There’s a sequel, “The Learners”, that I own but haven’t read yet. Stay tuned.)
“Then We Came to the End” by Joshua Ferris
A group of employees in an ad agency struggle to survive the dot-com bust, corporate downsizing, physical illness, and each other. A bit lengthy, but captivating. It’s possible that much of my love for this novel is based on the fact that while reading it, I pictured the cast of The Office as its characters - but I would recommend anyway, if only because of the fascinating use of perspective: it’s told in the first-person plural “we”.
“Little Children” by Tom Perrotta
From the New Yorker: “The eponymous children in this satirical novel are actually adults who, chafing at the burdens of parenthood, try to re-create their unencumbered youth.” Not normally the kind of novel I’d read, but Perrotta has a gift for making even the most inhumane characters sympathetic, and his prose is absolutely engrossing. Loved this.
“Attack of the Theater People” by Marc Acito
A 20 year-old gay theatre student is kicked out of drama school, told to “experience life”, then reapply. The sequel to Acito’s first novel, “How I Paid For College”, this is a much tighter, funnier, more meaningful read than its predecessor. There are wacky hijinks and a shitload of musical theatre in-jokes, and it can be a bit risque. Not for everyone, but for ex-drama club members there’s a lot to love here.
FOUR STARS: Liked these ones a lot. Recommended.
“Watchmen” by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons
“Oliver Twist” by Charles Dickens
“Three Girls and Their Brother” by Theresa Rebeck
“Born Standing Up: A Comic’s Life” by Steve Martin
The Secret Life of Bees” by Sue Monk Kidd
High Fidelity” by Nick Hornby
“The Odd Women” by George Gissing
Keep This Forever, by Mark Halliday
How I Paid For College, by Marc Acito
THREE STARS: Didn’t love ‘em, didn’t hate ‘em.
“Everything Is Illuminated” by Jonathan Safran Foer
“The Last Summer (Of You and Me)” by Ann Brashares
“Passing” by Nella Larson
“The Twins of Tribeca” by Rachel Pine
“The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time” by Mark Haddon
“Broadway Nights” by Seth Rudetsky
“Persepolis” by Marjane Satrapi
“Tales of Beedle the Bard” by J.K. Rowling
“Autobiography of an Ex-Colored Man” by James Weldon Johnson
TWO STARS: Absolutely not a fan. Not recommended.
“Fight Club” by Chuck Palahniuk
“Playing for Pizza” by John Grisham
ONE STAR: Worthless.
None!
Recommendations for new reading material are always appreciated! Fire away in the comments with any suggestions, or shoot me an email (laura @ ohonestly dot org).
hiiii, i'm laura. i'm a huge geek. my favorite color used to be green, but now it's yellow. you can read more about me, and about this website, by following the links below.
